Status Changes
by Enide Dear
Summary: A collection of short fics about various in-game status changes and acessories weird effects on Cid and Vincent's relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Status Change  
Author: Enide Dear  
Pairing: Valenwind  
Rating: fluff  
Summary: Different status changes effect on our fave gay couples relationship!

_Silence_  
"Cid!" Tifa screamed at the top of her quite impressive lungs, straight into Cid's ear. "Would you like some tea?!"

"…?"

"She said tea!" Cloud shouted as loud as he could in the other ear.

"…!"

"It might help your throat old man!" Yuffie had a surprisingly strong voice for someone so delicate looking. And shrill.

"….?!...!...!" There was the distinct feeling that this tome the expressive silence was filled with cussing.

"What is going on here?" Hands firmly clasped over demon-sensitive ears, Vincent frowned at the newly returned adventurers.

"…!"

"Cid was hit by a Silence spell." Exhausted, Tifa sank down on a chair. "He can't speak and I suspect he can't hear us."

"…?!"

"We can't do anything about it right now." Cloud sat down opposite her, watching with pity as the pilot gesture about wildly, his face red with frustration as he tried to make himself understood. "We're broke and out of Echo Screens. He will have to wait until tomorrow."

"Hmf." Crossing his arms, Vincent studied the pilot.

"Yeah, that's one way to do it," frustration made Yuffie even more pesky than usually towards Avalanche's ordinarily quietest member. "You two can just sit around all day saying nothing at all!"

Red eyes glared at her from far superior height.

"There are forms of communications other than speech." Vincent mumbled and took a gentle but firm grip on Cid's arm. "Something I suspect you'll never learn, brat."

Cid turned at the grip, still red-faced with frustration but as burgundy eyes caught his, he immediately stilled. Keeping the pilot caught in the gaze for a second, Vincent then waved his free arm in a complicated pattern.

Cid's eyes got huge. Then, with relief washing over his face, he made his own gesture, biting of his workglove so his fingers could move more freely.

Vincent gestured, face serious. Cid answered with a smile and an enthusiastic nod.

"Chief would like some tea, three sugars, no milk." Vincent translated.

"How do you know? Yuffie demanded.

"ShinRa standard sign language. Hasn't changed much in 30 years." Glancing at Cloud. Vincent added. "I'm surprised you don't know it."

"Soldier didn't teach it," Cloud said fast – too fast. "Didn't need to. Mako-hearing can pick up any whisper."

"I suppose. Chief says thank you," Vincent added to Tifa who had brought the tea to the parched and much grateful pilot.

Avalanche watched with surprise as Vincent then started waving his hands again, Cid answering in between sipping his tea. It seemed the gunman was positively chatty when he didn't need to use his voice. Cid grinned and waved and at one point threw his head back and laughed silently, making Avalanche drop their collective jaws. Vincent wasn't known for being funny.

"What are they talking about?!" Overcome with curiosity and nosiness, Yuffie jumped around the two men who ignored her, caught up in their quiet, secret discussion. "C'mon, Vince, tell me!"

Vincent made a sly gesture, red eyes burning. Cid suddenly turned beet-red ans almost choked on his tea. The gunman made another gesture, an almost _seductive_ gesture and Cid's eyes got huge. He almost took a step back before answering warily. Vincent pushed forward, his gestures firm but gentle, half a smile on his face. Cid looked almost cornered, his fingers fluttering and halting but strangely submissive.

"Oh my gods, what are you saying old man?!" Yuffie was almost jumping up and down with pure nosiness until Cid gave her a scowl and a one fingered universally understood gesture.

Vincent tilted his head towards the Inn's bedrooms. Cid gulped but nodded.

Avalanche stared as the two men disappeared into their room in stunned silence until Tifa sighed.

"Ah well. At least they won't be making much noise tonight."


	2. Mini

_Mini_

"Where is Vincent?" Tifa rose concerned as Cloud and Cid  
stepped inside 7:th Heaven, splattered with monster blood and quite exhausted.  
Even so, the question made them both split up in silly grins as they exchanged a  
look.

"He's around, sweetheart." Cid chuckled and started rooting around  
his jacket pocket. Whatever he was looking after in there made hi scowl and  
swear and at one point snap back his arm to suck a bloodied thumb. "Hey, stop  
that! Ya can't stay in there all day!" He swore at something unseen.

The  
ruckus drew the attention of the rest of Avalanche and when Cid finally managed  
to retrieve his hand and his sought after price, there were eight pairs of eyes  
staring at him.

Perched in the middle of Cid's callused hand stood a  
very small, very pissed Vincent Valentine, no taller than the length of a man's  
forearm.

"Oh sweet Leviathan, he's sooooo cute!" Yuffie squealed in  
delight. "Can I keep him as a doll?"

"Ya bloody well can't," Cid swore at  
her but the silly grin on his face revealed that he to found the whole thing  
utterly amusing. "He got hit by a Mini spell, poor guy."

"He is awfully  
cute like that though," Tifa smiled. "Although perhaps not so good at  
fighting."

Vincent's scowl darkened as he crossed his arms – or so they  
assumed, as the features were quite difficult to see.

"Yeah, that's why  
I kept him in my pocket." Lifting the gunman up to his face, Cid winked. "Who's  
a cute gunman then?" Outraged, Vincent drew his gun and fired straight between  
blue eyes. It had the same effect on the normal-sized pilot as would a  
peashooter. "You are. Yes you are!" Cid cooed closer."Yes you – ow,  
fucker!" Suddenly he clutched a bloodied nose. Vincent's claws were still razor  
sharp. "Alright, so maybe that was a bit out of line." Cid amended nasally,  
clutching his bleeding nose. Vincent rolled his eyes at him and sat down,  
turning his back to the pilot.

"What are we gonna do about him, though?"  
Barret scratched his head. "Can't have him running around like that all night.  
I'll be worried to step on him."

"You got a point," Cloud conceded.  
"Especially with Marlene and Denzel running around as well."

Cid looked  
thoughtful at the little gunman. It was difficult to tell, but it appeared  
Vincent's shoulders were slumping. Cid's heart melted.

"Can't stay in my  
pocket all day either," he said slowly. "That ain't a dignified way to get  
around."Hey, Barret. Where's your kid at?"

"Marlene? Outside, playing.  
Why?" Barret frowned.

"Gotta talk to her. Here, take this." He slid  
Vincent over in Barret's flesh hand, the little ex-Turk squawking so loud with  
indignation that it was actually audible.

"What?" Barret panicked as the  
irate gunman disappeared in a puff of brimstone and he was suddenly holding a  
very tiny demon with purple fur and long horns. "Why me?!"

"Ya got the  
biggest hands – well, hand – except fer me. Now don't drop him and don't crush  
him. I'll be right back!" Cid rushed out of the bar.

A few minutes he  
reappeared, scowling ferociously and throwing angry glances at Barret who was  
still holding Vincent as if he was a poisonous snake.

"We should jest  
sack yer daughter at Rufus!" He stomped up the stairs to Marlene's room. "She'd  
make ShinRa bankrupt in a month!"

"What just happened?" Barret frowned at  
his little daughter who stepped inside neatly counting a big wad of gils. She  
shrugged a laced clad shoulder and smiled sweetly up at her  
father.

"Uncle Cid said he needed to buy some of my toys." She said,  
putting the money away in the jar labled 'College fund'.

"You got all  
that money for buying some toys?!" Barret stared.

"No, that was just a  
rental fee. I'm not selling, I'm leasing."

"Holy Hell, I've been raising  
a ShinRa!"

The discussion about Marlene's ancestry came to an abrupt stop  
when Cid came back down, carrying something huge and pink which he placed on the  
table, careful not to scratch it. Everyone looked curiously at it, and even  
Vincent turned back to his normal self, relieving Barret from the sharp  
toe-claws that had been digging into the man's palm.

"Ta-daa!" He grinned  
broadly. "This will be perfect!"

"A Barbie doll house?" Tifa leaned in  
interested. "I used to have one of these when I was a girl."

"It's  
perfect." Cid held out a hand and Vincent stepped over, a lot more dignified  
this time. He looked on with a slow, understanding nod, as the pilot lowered him  
next to the house."It's a bit pink, but everything is of the right size. Ya can  
live in there while we figure this out and no one will accidently step on  
you."

Vincent nodded, but still looked a bit troubled. The house was  
missing the entire front so it could be played with, and that meant he was  
visible whatever he did. Cid frowned and nodded, picking up the distress.

"Yer right. Well put it in my room. Ya'll get some peace and quiet  
there." Hefting the house under one arm and the little gunman in the other Cid  
made for the stairs.

"Don't forget to feed him!" Yuffie  
shouted.

"There is a swingset to if he wants to play!" Marlene  
added.

"He ain't a fucking hamster!" Cid stomped up the  
stairs.

The evening went fine. Vincent explored his new home while Cid  
was busy with some blur prints. The house was awfully pink, but he quickly set  
about rearranging that. All the Barbie dolls went quickly into the empty garage  
along with everything too frilly or gaudy. That still left a lot of surprisingly  
comfortable furniture and Cid's yellow scarf was a decent replacement for the  
horribly frothy bedspread. There was a kitchen, a living room, a bed room and a  
bathroom. Even the lights worked and could be turned on and off. The closets  
were of course filled with dresses, but in one Vincent found Ken clothes. He  
stared at them for a while, then attracted Cid's attention by whistling  
sharply.

When the pilot came over, Vincent pointed at the  
bathtub.

"Sure." From his teakettle, Cid poured up hot water in the tub.  
"Ya'll have ta wait a little, it's damn hot."

The bath was very relaxing  
(if pink) and Vincent took his time about it. It wasn't often now a days that he  
had any time alone, but no one could disturb him here. After he was clean and  
relaxed, he put on some comfortable Ken clothes and washed his own leathers in  
the tub, hanging them to dry.

Dinner was provided by Cid, who also  
offered him a brandy in a tiny glass.

"Ain't as if yer gonna make any  
difference in the bottle, drinking like that." The pilot grinned.

Vincent thoroughly enjoyed his solitary meal.

The evening became  
night and the pilot and gunman crawled into their respective beds with a sleepy  
'G'd night,Vince' from Cid and probably a quiet answer from the doll house.  
They both fell asleep.

At about a quarter after midnight there was a  
horrendous crash of broken plastic, furniture being smashed to pieces and a  
heavy body landing on the floor with a thud. Cid jumped upright in his bed,  
fumbled for the lamp and turned it on groggily.

On the floor of his  
room, in a scattering of sad pink plastic, lay a very life-sized, dizzy and  
naked Vincent Valentine.

"Ow." The gunman clutched his head where it had  
bumped against the floor.

"Aw, right." Cid scratched his head. "Status  
Changes wear off after a night's sleep. Yer alright?"

"I'm naked."  
Vincent sat up, looking around groggily.

"Yer clothes are back ta size,  
but they're still wet. Ya must have ripped those doll clothes ya  
used."

"Oh." Vincent looked around, clearly embarrassed. "I am sorry for  
having caused you so much trouble for nothing, chief."

"Hey, come ta bed  
you." With a yawn, Cid pulled the covers aside and shuffled aside to make room.  
"There ain't any reason waking up the rest of the house ta find ya a bed  
elsewhere tonight."

Vincent stared at him. Then he got up and crawled  
into the warm bed. Snuggling up to the pilot he mumbled.

"I am still  
sorry for your troubles."

"No troubles. Jest ya do one thing fer  
me."

"What is that?"

"Yer paying Marlese fer her ruined doll house  
tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Status Changes III  
Author: Enide Dear  
Pairing: Valenwind  
Rating: cute, with swearing  
A/N: alright, so technically this isn't status changes but accessories.  
A/N2: Final Fantasy have the silliest accessories in the history of RPG games  
A/N#: Can you figure out which one Vincent got?

_Jingle, jingle_

"This is ridicolous. I refuse to take another step."

"Aw, c'mon Vince! Don't be like that."

_Jingle, jingle_

"No. No more. I'm taking this off, chief."

"That's just unkind, ya know I spent hours looking up a chocobo's ass ta get ya that one."

_Jingle, jingle_

"I sound like a pet! I…I.. _jingle_ for Shiva's sake!"

"It's jest a side effect. It works, doesn't it?"

_Jingle, jingle_

"Yes, I must reluctantly admit my health is restoring as we walk. But that is not worth the silly sound."

"Look, yer the frailest in Avalanche, don't deny it Vince. I would jest feel better if I knew ya were wearing it, alright? Yer health ain't all that good. Ya need all the help ya can get."

_Jingle, jingle_

"Oh, do I really? Need I remind you of the demons? And how many times must I remind you not to call me 'Vince.'"

"Galian would do alright with a bell, so what's the problem? Anyway, 'Vince' is cute."

_Jingle, jingle_

"Cute is it, _Cidney_?"

"Ya promised ya would never tell anyone my real name!"

_Jingle, jingle_

"Fine, if I have to wear this ridiculous thing, then I want you to wear this. Here, a gift."

"A _tiara?!_ A fucking sparkling _tiara?!_ What the Hell, Vince?!"

_Jingle, jingle_

"It is a HypnoCrown, _Cidney_. I had to look all over The City of Ancients for it. And since you are the one member of our company with the lowest Manipulations rates…."

"I ain't wearing a fucking crown jest 'cause I'm a queer!"

_Jingle, jingle_

"Are you sure they are lovers?" Yuffie asked suspiciously as they followed the arguing men, one who jingled cheerfully with every step he took and the other with a sparkly, shiny crown on his head.

Tifa smiled.

"Oh yes. Can't you hear the wedding bells?"


End file.
